Coffee Shop Contemplation

Like most young twenty-somethings employed in less-than-traditional roles, I find myself at least a few times a week at my favorite local coffee hangout. Although I normally rail against the corporate consumerism that enslaves our society, I have to admit my favorite spot to hammer out a few hours of work is the Starbucks on the other side of town. It's not that I particularly enjoy their coffee, music, or service. Rather, I like how much space there is (a surprise considering that the typical Starbucks is a poor work/meeting space, much more suited to refueling on-the-go as opposed to, say, your typical indie coffee shop) and how it is a perfect 15 minute drive from home (it means I feel like a "normal" person when I drive to and from the place). Plus, that Gold Card free refill is a lifesaver.

My typical work regimen includes a batch of planning, emails, working on my schedule for appointments, travel, and budgeting. Woven into the mix are always spots for browsing music articles, the news, and spiritual reading and prayer. Typically prayer doesn't exactly find a comfortable home alongside the routine of my work, yet considering my vocation (ministry) and my temperament (usually pretty task-oriented and perfectionistic), these times for reading and prayer are meaningful 'exhales' that re-orient my world unto the one to whom all my work is rendered. I am finding increasingly that I am most at peace, content, and tapped into the Spirit when I actively engage in this posture. Better yet, it helps me maintain the clarity and focus needed for the rest of the day's phone calls, planning, or appointments. The great elders of our Christian tradition have a word for this, I'm told. It's called contemplation.

My worship in the Catholic tradition has certainly nurtured a deepening awareness of this outlook on our life. Indeed the last words spoken at Mass are "Go in peace, glorifying the Lord by your life." In the latin we find the origins of the title "mass" itself: "Ite, Misa Est." Go, here is your Mission. It means that in encountering God, whether in the word, communion, or community, we are sent to continue that worship in Christlike engagement with his world. Yet many times the youthful activism that appeals to many young people like myself fails to hold both prayer and action in common. They seem somehow to be in conflict; we hear that we should always pray before we act. My nonreligious friends see prayer as a waste of time. If relationship with God is so important, why aren't [religious folk like me] more active in meeting the needs of the world? We see here the common misconception held by people both religious and secular: the spiritual and material (or corporal) dimensions of life are separate and are therefore dealt with separately.

The great mystics of past and present beg to differ. I love Fr. Richard Rohr's description of his ministry, the Center for Action and Contemplation. Ultimately, our actions begin to point to our own brand of identity built on a self-referenced perspective. These plans, agendas, and thoughts become benchmarks that we use to construct our own understanding of the world and our own paradigms of inhabiting it. Although this is not bad, it is severely limited and does not allow God to form the primary nexus of consciousness. This, according to Thomas Merton, is the M.O. of the false self. Once we face our limitations, failures, and our inherent need to judge, defend, evaluate, and process our experiences, we move find our True Self, moving away from our self-referenced identity. As L. Robert Mulholland says, we find "who we truly are, hidden in Christ." (cf Colossians 3:3). The transition feels like death, because in a way, it follows the path of Jesus. It is death unto the purpose of Resurrection. Our actions and thoughts are no longer who we are.  We find freedom and authenticity in our actions because our consciousness is rooted in an awareness of our self and God.

I do not think for a second that this is our "lifelong project" or a systematic framework for spiritual discipline. It is utterly the work of the Spirit, entrenched in the eternal death and resurrection of the Son, who beckons us into himself as our Beloved, glorifying the creation of the Father. When we are adopted into the mystery of the Trinity, we find our true selves, we find freedom, we find our purpose apart from any need to perform, evaluate, or judge anything.

Contemplation when applied to prayer can take many forms. We can find peace as God opens the scriptures to us through Lectio Divina.  We can see the handiwork of God in our day's unfolding through an evening examen prayer. We can take cues from wonderful Trappist Fathers like Thomas Keating and engage in a half hour of centering prayer, where we attend to the inner voice of the Spirit without any other desire but to be with Him.

In the most authentic moments of contemplative prayer, I find myself abandoned to the Inner Voice of Love. In Him, there is freedom from the need for me to yap on and on about my problems, my concerns, and even my doubts and worries. Although there is certainly a time and place for these petitions, contemplation enables me to be content in the simple awareness of God's love for me and His world.

I last experienced this in a moment towards the end of my workday on Tuesday at Starbucks. My mind, usually busy with the clatter of analysis, speculation, and the anxiety of fundraising, was suddenly muted by the mysterious extrinsic grace of God. My desire rose in my chest, that truest deepest desire to be free from my small worries and concerns. As I pressed into that Desire, I found myself rooted to the unknowable love of Christ, giving me a sense of freedom, yes, but also of communion. Slowly, I perceived the threads of my self-referenced vision which normally commands my consciousness yield to the compelling power of Love.

If I go on I betray the point of contemplation. It isn't meant to be analyzed, understood, or perfected. Instead, it is the heart of relationship, which should be free from such things. Although that time at the coffee shop lasted for little more than ten minutes, I could have sat there with my cooling Tall Soy Blonde-Roast Misto for an eternity. And because I was tapped into the Creator, in a way, I was.

Resources:

Contemplative Outreach. Thomas Keating's ministry for Centering Prayer. http://www.contemplativeoutreach.org/fr-thomas-keating

Center for Action and Contemplation. Richard Rohr's Albuquerque-based ministry for men, although his literature is accessible and beloved by both men and women. https://cac.org/

Thomas Keating. The Human Condition: Contemplation and Transformation. Paulist, 1999. Fantastic and short read crystallizing many of Keating's ideas and tapping into the monastic contemplative wisdom of the Church.

Richard Rohr. Immortal Diamond: the Search for our True Self. Jossey-Bass, 2013. Difficult but profound view of true-self/false-self spirituality and a contemplative framework.