I Am Tired (A Lament)

I Am Tired (A Lament)

I am tired; my eyes trace another stone
Hurled from hateful hands, flying unhindered
To crush my bones to powder, my blood to rivers
Again the death I fear reminds me there
Is a fool's hope for escape.

I am tired; my nose fills with smoke
As fingers fling matches burning
Pillars of flame sear my hair to cinder
And their snarling laughter purges
This heretical body of its unholy love.

I am tired; I stare into the rifle's barrel yet again,
My eyes obscured from my neighbor's face
Hidden behind a black helmet and plexiglass shield,
The land their people stole filled with black smoke
Trailer traffic, and a long, steel dragon swallowing
Oceans of black poison sucked dry from Earth.

I am tired; my shoulders ache under the weight
Of this beam thrust upon my shoulders, the
Jeers of the crowd now hurled at me, though I
Was minutes ago just another pilgrim here for worship,
Now staring into the face of a bleeding man who can
Barely stand.

I am tired; the silver coins scatter on the cold stone
And earth, my torment is too much to bear.
This Chosen One was supposed to bring freedom, not
Death, and I was forced to become what I hate,
Though I see the price of my liberty is the
Very injustice of innocent blood.

I am tired; my heart bleeds - Revenge
Is in the hands of the Creator, and I cannot bear
To drive one more nail into his very flesh
Each time I think of myself as better, each time
I deny His image in my words, my ideas, my hate
All shutting me in a prison of my own weak belief.

I am tired; I long for the table again,
I remember your words when you broke the bread
And lifted the cup, inviting us to make your
Presence known when we remember you, and
Now without table, without bread, cup, or priest
We weep beside these rivers, and
Wait.